Sick And Tired
Time: 5.15am
Can't get to sleep again.. Another war started.. I thought I wouldn't cry anymore.. but.. *sigh* Shall not talk about it anymore.. I guess viewers out there are tired of reading about this topic already..
I need a life man.. my sleeping hours are back to the time when the sun is out again.. I'm so tired of living life this way.. Even a friend just asked me how was I able to stay at home for a week without stepping out of the house. Well.. I said it was because of him.. He won't know what I've become for the past 2 months and how he has actually affected my lifestyle. Sickening..
Hmm.. Dawn of the Dead or to bed now? Whatever..
Monday, April 26, 2004
Family Day
Time: 7.00am
Listening To: Richie Ren - Ni Shi Wo De Lao Po
Sundays are always a stay-home day for me.. Just for me to rest or spend time with my family.. Well.. just feeling kinda low now.. Filled with reminiscence, I just couldn't get myself to sleep.. Was glad to know that most of my ex-schoolmates are attached and living life happily now.. On the other hand, was envious and hoping that I could be like them too..
Well, seems that things ain't going my way for this year.. Fell seriously ill with a high fever at 40 degrees on the first day of CNY.. It was the worst time I've been through being sick, as it lasted for weeks.. Since then, I knew I was down on my luck for the coming year.. What to do..
Shall head to bed now.. Although I still can't get to sleep, I don't wish to be wasting electricity.. Yup.. my consciousness is still functioning dad.. Anyway, I just realised that my xanga premium images will expire in just 6 days.. So, all the pics I have posted will be deleted.. Get a last glimpse of them before they're gone.. *sigh*
Sunday, April 25, 2004
Saturday Night Out
Time: 7.00am
Hmm.. What do I have for today? Well.. I met up with Elynn first before we headed down to Lido to meet Leon. Our plan was to go clubbing at ChinaBlack.. Yupz.. It's my first time there on a saturday night.. I only went there before on wednesdays, when the crowd is just enough to tear down the building. I knew that the queue will be terrible if we were to reach there later in the night.. Therefore, I planned to meet up the guys as early as 7.30pm..
I then realised that the club only opens at 8pm.. So we went to have our dinner instead.. By the time the 3 of us are ready to enter the club, it was already 8.30pm.. Guess what.. the queue was already stretched until the junction of the road.. oh my~ It was terrible.. We had no choice but to queue up and wait.. Alicia and Jason arrived in awhile and joined us in the queue.. It actually took us 2 hours to reach the stupid lobby of the building.. Guess the management just wants to drag on the time, so that the peeps will have to pay up for cover charge after 10pm.. I wouldn't want to step into there again on a saturday night.. The queue is simply atrocious.. *shakes head*
Anyway, the club was very packed last night.. The atmosphere was great but it's just too cramped up.. Surprisingly, I bumped into a friend of my ex and a friend from my school.. The country is just so small ya.. Enjoyed the dance with the girls but the guys wanted to leave early for somewhere else instead.. So.. we left for Rav while Alicia went to Rush.. She wanted me to join her to go together but I turned her down..
Well.. I told myself not to step into that pub again remember? The situation at Mohd. Sultan is just so bad.. It's very common to see those underaged guys and especially girls trying to enter the pub with a fake identity card. Lians and bengs are how I categorise them.. Fights here and there are just another common scene down there.. You wouldn't be surprised to see bottles and chairs flying above your heads man.. It's smply annoying when there is a fight going on in the pub.. The lights on and the intermitting of the music disrupts the party.. Anyway.. Mohd. Sultan Road has become another Boat Quay.. It's just another dreadful clubbing place in s'pore..
Anyway.. where was I.. Ohh yah.. The crowd at Rav was sparse as it was already 2am when we reached.. We had a drink and danced a little before heading for home.. Well.. I thought that it would be better if we were to stay on at ChinaBlack.. Although being very packed, it was enjoyable! Going there on a wednesday would be better for me though.. No queue, no packed crowd but just fun!
Hmm.. I haven't been initiative to contact him anymore.. Instead, it's vice-versa now.. He would message me in the wee hours of the day.. I won't act like a fool anymore, requesting him to come back.. If he wants me, he will turn back.. It's no use crying everyday to know that he doesn't want to patch things up with me.. Yes, I still cry for him.. But I'll try to let go gradually if I can.. It hurts to hold on, although he wants me to.. No one can predict the future.. I don't know what's ahead but I'll just take it step by step.. Hope everything will go on smoothly for me this time..
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chillin' Out At CoffeeBean
(In fact, we got real chilled under the powerful air-con.)
This was taken the day before, during our shopping spree..
Yeah.. this is Elynn.. Cute eh?
Saturday, April 24, 2004
Getting Domesticated
Time: 4.50am
Not much of a happening day.. Wake up, eat, television.. Well, will be meeting up with the girls tomorrow.. It's the last day of examination for Alicia, so she planned to meet up with us to chill out.
9 more days to the start of the first semester of year 2.. So I really gotta make use of the time left for me to slack around. Hope that I'll get into my choice of specialization and hopefully a good class for me to start the year with.
I suddenly seem to be more open-minded in aspects of my relationship with him.. Do not take things for granted and cherish what you have.
Contentment is the key..
Friday, April 23, 2004
Shopping Spree!
Time: 1.35am
Woke up by Elynn's sms at around 11.40am.. I was still rather tired as I slept quite late last night..Hmm.. managed to get myself off the comfy bed and get ready to meet her..
As usual, I was late again.. heheh.. First, we went to SSDC to make bookings for our theory tests. I chose to take mine on the 14th next month.. Well, I'm still not confident in passing it.. Our next destination was to orchard to start on our shopping spree!
First stop was Far East Plaza.. Elynn went to apply for her Get A Life membership card, while I renewed mine and we got the Level 1 membership card for free. The Level 1 card definitely sounds and looks cool.. We were both fascinated by the shape and design of that card.. wOo~ Then we bought some clothes and headed to Pasta Mania at Scotts for our dinner.. *DrooLz* After gaining an extra kg from the pasta and salad, we walked over to wisma atria for more clothes! By then, our legs were already wobbly after all the strolling round and round the shops.. So we decided to have a cuppa drink over at CoffeeBean! *More droolings* On our way home, I spotted Edo Sushi! *Ding³* We were like aunties grabbing the sushis as it was selling at 50% off!
Well.. That was how I spent my day with my dearest babe, Elynn.. Had a great time and off I go to have my bite on the sushis now!
Thursday, April 22, 2004
Early Bird..
Time: 1.15am
*YawNz* Feeling kinda tired now.. Slept early last night after staying up for 24hrs and was surprised that I woke up at around 8 in the morning.. wow.. it's been a long time since I woke up on a non-schooling day..
Have been lazing around at home the whole day.. Downloaded another movie, Dawn Of The Dead.. Won't be surprised if you hear me landing up behind the bars one day.. Haha.. Well.. movies are the best companions to keep me occupied during the holidays.. Hmm.. 21st today.. someone's birthday that I know of.. Whatever.. shall not talk about the person.. he's a total bastard.. *censored*
Hohoho~ Nono.. Ignore the previous sentence guys.. I'm an extremely good girl.. Back still hurting man.. How much is a new spine anyway..Kinda worried about my dearest spine, which made me keep drinking milk today.. *Looks at the cup in front of me* Yeah.. it's my favourite HL milk again.. heheh.. Might be going for a shopping spree and a treat to myself at the japanese restaurant tomorrow! *DrooLz*
Elynn wants to book her class 3 basic theory tomorrow, so I'll just book my advanced again then.. Failed my first attempt as I did not have mood to study for it.. He was away in Thailand and I felt so down.. Anyway, I was so unlucky to have gotten Booklet D which is the difficult booklet.. *Sigh* Frankly speaking, I don't have any confidence of passing this time too.. After knowing what happened on my previous attempt, think all of you should know the reason..
Shall pen off here.. Brain is kinda blank now..
Tuesday, April 20, 2004
Awake Since Yesterday
Time: 10.00pm
Yupz.. I managed to keep myself awake for the whole day.. Was actually tired during the afternoon already, but I had to tolerate till now.. Not bad not bad.. Feeling so much like a zombie now..
Hmm.. Watched the movies I downloaded previously to keep me occupied in the day.. Came accross the news of the collapse at Nicoll Highway while chatting with Elynn.. Wow.. the news was shocking and unexpected I must say.. Think this is the 2nd collapse that I've heard of in singapore.. The only collapse I knew was the Hotel New World.. It took place in 1985, the year I was born.. That case really stirred up the whole of Singapore.. Guess it will take months for the road to be up and opened for public use again.. Will simply get to hear about this collapse at every corner of this country now.. It's just like how the Sars outbreak shook the whole world..
Stupid collapse will be causing the delay of the opening of the Circle Line, which involves my house area too.. Argh.. That means it'll be a long way more to go now to see the new mrt line.. Bah~
Well.. It's my earliest blog written in the night too.. 2 records in a day man.. *Sigh* My back hurts badly today.. It's the first time I've ever felt this kinda pain on my back.. Oh boy~ Is there something wrong with my spine? Can't be having osteoporosis at this age right.. Now I experience the pain that he is going through.. and it's such a coincidence that he is also have this problem recently.. The pain has lasted for days already and I think I shall seek consultation if the pain persist for the next few days..
Guess I shall turn in now ba.. Sitting or standing in any posture now is a torture to me.. It simply hurts.. Hope he's doing well in camp.. *Still fantasizing on my Prince* Nitez all~ So do fairytales exist?
Unexpected House Cleaning!
Time: 10.25am
Hmm.. I think this is the earliest I've ever blogged.. (not to count those blogs written in the wee hours) Alright.. What have I been doing the whole night? Hmm.. Dino called me up last night to invite me to a bbq at sentosa.. well.. it is supposed to be the guitar camp, but the members that turned up were little.. so they decided to invite some rp friends over too.. But I think I won't be able to make it.. Basically because.. I haven't had a wink of sleep yet! So I won't have the energy to go tonight.. Apologies!
Anyway, I spent my night watching part 2 of 50 First Dates.. I thought that it was rather a very nice show with a mix of comedy and romance.. I like it.. =) I was downloading movies like Prince & Me and Calendar Girls, when I suddenly had the urge and mood to clean up my room. It was 5am in the morning.. But I thought that it will be a good idea as this kinda mood doesn't come by easily for me.
Yeah.. and so I had a brand new look of my study table after tidying up my stuff.. I opened up my brand new speakers for use as I thought that my acer's laptop speakers sux.. It is so soft I can't even figure out what the guys are mumbling about in the movie. I moved my pc out of my room to let my bro use it from now on.. I have my laptop so I wouldn't need another computer at the same time.. Cleaning up my room only was already a great chore.. I even went to clean up my bathroom.. Well.. when my mood comes, I simply can't let my hands stop.
Room and bathroom cleaning lasted for around 4 hours.. Dad and bro was shocked to see me doing cleaning up at the early hours of the morning.. I overheard my bro asking my dad, he said: "Daddy, why wei wei so early clean her room?" While my dad replied: "She suddenly got mood then clean lor." I laughed upon hearing that..
Had my breakfast and is feeling a little sleepy now.. Nono! I have to keep myself awake till night time, as I planned to turn my sleeping hours back to normal. I can't be sleeping in the day and waking up in the night man.. This can't carry on, or else I'll suffer when school reopens.. Back started to hurt again after much bending while cleaning up just now.. But anyway, the sense of satisfaction has never been better!
Downloading Walking Tall at the moment.. Oh man~ I am doing illegal stuff again.. *Shakes head* Anyway, shall have a great day ahead for a brand new me! He's in camp now.. Just updated him on some stuff but he doesn't seem to have anything to tell me.. Well.. shall not bother much.. Feeling hungry again! Blasting music in the morning just feels great!
Monday, April 19, 2004
Home Sweet Home..
Time: 4.30am
Watching Shrek now.. Hmm.. was watching 50 First Dates previously, but I realised that part 2 was corrupted.. Well.. Spent my day at home watching the NKF show.. I think the performances are getting more and more interesting each year.. Not bad not bad..
Wondering whether to go out with Chel and Lx for 'Prince And Me' tomorrow.. Hmm.. Shall depend on my mood tomorrow ba.. Seems that my back is giving me problems nowadays.. It hurts every night causing me to lose sleep and I just strained my neck last night.. Oh well.. Back starting to hurt again.. Don't feel like blogging anymore.. *PooF*
Sunday, April 18, 2004
Clubbing Night
Time: 5.00am
It's been an hour since I came back from clubbing. Hmm.. Had my shower and supper.. smelling nice and comfy in my room now. Just cried again while messaging him.. I think I'm really used to crying everyday.. Missing him and hoping he would come back so much.. It seems that I'll tend to think of him wherever I go, whatever I'm doing.. Am I just not used to his absence or is he really playing such an important role in my life?
Anyway, Elynn asked me to go clubbing with her tonight.. We planned to go ChinaBlack in the first place.. But elynn, her bf and her bf's friend reached there earlier and found out that the queue was so long, that it actually stretched till the Adidas shop. Wow.. that's horrible.. So they met up with Pam and headed down to Dbl O together. Stupid Pam actually told me to meet her at orchard but she went off to Dbl O without me. She wasted my money to rush down in a cab.
So.. we met up there and was kinda stormy to be rejected entrance at the door, as the age limit for ladies was 20. Well, Leon's friend got mixed up with the age limit. What to do.. Thus, we went back to have a look at ChinaBlack's crowd.. What the *tuuu..* It seems as if there's sorta free for grab thingy going on there. *Sigh* It's just not our day.. We decided to go to a pub behind Boat Quay.. It's called Rav, which is a rather new and unfamiliar pub to me.. Hmm.. the place were rather nice.. The music, environment and people was great! I like the place though.. as it was beautifully furnished with ORANGE colour! WoOoo~ Orange simply turns me on! My favourite colour man..
We had an enjoyable night at Rav drinking and dancing to the contemporary hits.. Was surprised to have bumped into an old friend there.. He still looks the same other than his botak head.. He and his friends joined Pam to dance and craze around.. Pam was dancing non-stop since we stepped into the place.. I guess it's been a long time since she last went clubbing.. She seemed to be a siao char bor tonight.. Haha.. Well.. she left early with the guys and I went back with Elynn and Leon at around 3 plus.. All of us enjoyed ourselves.. I enjoyed their company tonight.. but happiness does not last long..
I realised I have been out drinking more often without him around.. It's not that I enjoy clubbing, but it's the loneliness that lured me to club.. He wouldn't understand.. Anyway, he'll be going for his reservice on the 20th.. I remembered leaving him during his previous reservice.. He wanted me so much back then.. but not this time.. He learnt to be heartless already.. I'm to blame for all this.. I did in a way or another, taken the relationship for granted.. I kept requesting to end it off whenever we had a major quarrel.. I know I know.. It's my retribution...
Saturday, April 17, 2004
16th Of Each Month
Time: 5.45am
Didn't update my blog yesterday.. Oh well.. Tiredness and temptation of my bed were the culprit.. Hmm.. I was "released" yesterday and I went out with Chel and Lx.. We were supposed to go for a shopping spree.. But there was a change in plan so we went J8 for a movie instead. It was evening already when the show ended, and Chel had to leave for tuition. If only Chel was able to join us for karaoke.. It was so much fun with Lx, Sombo and Dino at Kbox.. It was also a record for me to sing for 5 and a half hours!
Anyway, we left Kbox at around 2 and headed home. I shared a cab with Dino and ohh.. we met with a talkative driver.. Should pity us.. We had to entertain the uncle all the way home.. Dino has got a rather in-depth information about his whole family man! WoOoo~
Hmm.. and what do I have for today.. I was planning to stay at home and rot again.. But I met up with Amanda, Melvin and Wei Liang at Boat Quay after her sincere persuasion.. It has been ages since we last stepped into BQ.. We were rather shocked to see that the place has changed so much.. The ever popular pubs like Taps, Xklusiv and Boat House were closed down.. Those were the days when we entered the pubs being underaged.. Can imagine having souvenir shops opened in the late hours.. and Chocolate Bar becoming an asylum! The staff dressed in nurse and doctor uniforms were acting like insane people pulling people into the pub. We were stopped by them and one staff just came over and held my hand, wanting to bite me! Oh my~ Crazy people.. What has BQ become man~
All these dampens our mood to stay around there for the night. We pondered for quite awhile before we decided to have a drink at Lighthouse. I think that the people and atmosphere there makes me feel like I was in a malaysian pub. Gosh.. All the ah gogo kinda dance and retro techno turned me off. What worsened my mood was his sms.. *Sighz* We quarrelled again.. There was a point of time when I teared while replying his messages. I guess no one saw it.. It was too dark for anyone to realise it anyway. It really hurts to quarrel with him..
What should I do to make all these come to an end? Do I really have to go to his workplace to look for him to talk with and apologise? or like what Alicia has said.. I shouldn't do so as I'm allowing him to climb over my head? Hmm.. she said: "When guys do this, girls will be touched. But when girls do, guys will be proud." Well.. 2 different perceptions for me to ponder on.. He always stop replying when I asked for an answer on what's his decision.. This simply annoys me.. He says he's confused.. But I guess I'm more confused than him..
16th of every month used to be a special day for me and him.. We always spent this day together to celebrate another month of our relationship.. Those were the sweet memories.. I really missed how we appreciated each other when we were together.. I never regretted spending huge sums of money on presents to make him happy, and spending my free time to accompany him.. When I see him happy, I'll be happy too.. He also doted on me.. So much that I felt so lucky to have him.. It's all in the past.. Totally different now.. We seem more like enemies.. *Sigh*
Hmm.. Seems like another sleepless night for me again.. I tend to be thinking so much about this nowadays till I lose sleep. I have to do something about it... ...
Thursday, April 15, 2004
Home For The 7th Day
Time: 1.50am
Just another day of rotting at home.. Hmm.. I guess this shall be my last day of my "sentence" at home.. Getting "released" tomorrow.. Realised I haven't touched my house keys for a week already.. wow..
Will be going for retail therapy with Chel and Liang Xing tomorrow.. Think I already have a rough idea of tomorrow's itinerary.. Hmm.. Shall be meeting the girls at Toa Payoh first before heading down to Queensway SC. But I guess I have to be there earlier as I need to go to the bank to apply for my debit card. I wanted to print it out from the net and just mail it to them. But I realised I can't do so unless my account is signature operated. Unfortunately, mine isn't.. Well, after that we would most probably head down to town for more shopping! It's been ages since I last patronised a retail outlet.. Anyway, shall be meeting Dino and Sombo for some karaoke in the night. Hmm.. might be meeting Pam and her boyfriend later too.. (Not confirmed..) That's all I guess.. Off to bed now.. *Rollz*
Wednesday, April 14, 2004
Home For The 6th Day
Time: 3.45am
*Munches* Dumpling and grapes.. My wonderful source of nutritious food I can find in my kitchen in the middle of the night. Due to irrisistable temptation from Dino.. I have gained a few inches at my waist again.. *Shakes Head* I realised I have eaten 4 bunches of grapes in 4 days. Yup, 1 a day.. Can't help it.. I'll tend to binge whenever I'm stuck at home. Nah.. don't expect any new happenings from me when I'm home for 6 days in a row.. Anyway, I've grown to like Stacie Orrico's - Stuck.. I think that the lyrics are real meaningful. I also thought that it portrays the situation that I'm in now.. Nice nice~ Hmm.. I think I'm beginning to appreciate a song composed by a friend of mine too.. Simply sentimental.. and with his powerful voice.. wow.. What else can I say? I'll upload it to share with you guys.. Guess that's all for today.. Not into the mood of writing long essays anyway.. Ciao~
Tuesday, April 13, 2004
Home For The 5th Day
Time: 4.20am
Woke up in the evening with eyes swollen and painful. Was feeling gloomy for the whole day.. Television kept me company for the whole night till I had to teach my bro mathematics. I'll go mad teaching him math.. But well.. I'm getting used to it.
He just msg me awhile ago.. I guess the war is going to start again.. I really don't wish to quarrel with him anymore, so I chose not to reply him. But he's getting more sarcastic and hurting me with his words again. *Sigh* I shall try to keep myself calm.. Don't talk back.. Nono.. Let him say all he wants.. Just don't create another quarrel with him. More and more sms are coming in.. Argh.. Tolerate girl.. don't mess things up again..
Today's blog is a short one as I need to reply his messages. I guess I shall head to bed soon.. My eyes are tired after the weeping the whole night.. I need some rest and I need some time to be alone. I need a miracle! Wow.. As if there is.. I'm just thinking too much.. Just hope this time around the messages wont end up to be a quarrel again.. I hope...
Monday, April 12, 2004
Home For The 4th Day
Time: Unsure
Stayed at home to catch the NKF show on tv in the evening. Everything seemed normal like the previous days.. but not until my phone rang in the middle of the night..
He contacted me just a few hours ago. First was a mms.. Something he sent that made me smile instantly. But happiness just lasted for a min.. I received another sms from him that caused my tears to fall.. From that moment onwards, my tears have never stopped even till now. This feeling is really hurting.. Then came more and more sms that accumulate to my sorrow. I kept reading it over and over again before I received a call from him. This is when I start to breakdown again. He called to lecture and reprimand me for things that I have done in the past. I know I have went over the limit when it comes to playing the computer. I'm remorseful for my actions..
For the past month, I have tried to change myself to accord with him. He doesn't know how I really feel and what I really did. I refrained myself from talking back although his words were sacastic and untrue. I also tried to explain, but to no avail. An hour long of conversation ended off tragically. I couldn't control feelings anymore. Therefore, I burst out crying. He's the only one that affected me so much in my life. He's also the one that made me realise the existance of true and lasting love. The one that I treated the best and sacrificed the most for, caused me the most hurt.
At this point of time, my heart is truly shattered.. I tried my best to refrain myself from contacting him for these days. It was simply to make me forget about this heartbreaking relationship.. I seriously wish to step out from this sickening lifestyle, where hopes are given, then broken. But why does he have to come back to my life to hurt me again? I admit defeat. I'm not strong enough to endure the sufferings he gave. He made me fall again and I don't know when can I ever stand up this time.
Tears rolling off my cheeks again.. I can't sleep.. My mind don't seem to be working and I can't think. What shall I do next? I'm a lost sheep in the forest. I'm confused.. I'm heartbroken.. and I can't see my future. Im unable to accept the consequences now, after being with him for more than 2 years. Has our story ended? Was it right to start off this relationship in the first place? If I hadn't met him at Boat Quay back then, would I be taking all these pain now? There are others out there willing to share my burden together. Why do I reject them? I'm stuck in quicksand and can't get myself out of this dilemma. Where's my guide? Am I meant to learn the way of life in this manner? Lots of questions came up to my mind but I can't find answers to them.
If onli consoles came from the right person, I won't be weeping down here anymore. The sun is out.. But how am I supposed to face another day after this incident? Life is just full of ups and downs.. Only then will one learn to become stronger. Don't worry. I still can make some sense out of me now. How to become stronger? Mass gainer? Nah.. I must be kidding.. Something is wrong with me now. I really don't know what should I do now.. My eyes are swollen and tired.. I could hardly see what i'm typing now.. I just hope everything will become better as time passes..
I've uploaded a song that has been looping in my media player for the past 3 hrs, since the moment we hung up the phone. I think that it describes my feelings now, somehow or another..
Sunday, April 11, 2004
Slacking Day (Ultra Extended)
Time: 1.30am
Guess you guys should know what you will expect for today's blog, as according to the title stated above. Nothing interesting happened again. What a boring lifestyle I have now..
Steph called me at around 10pm to tell me that she's going China Black tonight. She said she was in the middle of the movie and was calling me from the washroom. So what's the purpose of the call? Just telling me you are enjoying yourself outside while I'm rotting at home? Well.. Can't be bothered anyway.
Mr Ong, my facilitator from school, approached me for a chat just now. Had a more in depth chat with him this time.. Hmm.. we both have some secrets of each other now.. It will come to good use when I need his help in the future.. Haha.. Heard from him that he'll be facilitating in the module, Operating System Concept. It is a core module for IT students, so I think there will be possibilty that I'll land up in his class again.
Hmm.. At the moment, I'm just chatting with Pam who's also at home on a saturday night. Well, it's simply because her darling Mark is out with his friends. Bah~ I'm getting restless again.. Think I have been cooped up at home for too long, but it's not the longest I've ever tried anyway. Sometimes, I can just keep myself at home for a week during the holidays. Friends ask me how I could tolerate the boredom at home.. Hmm.. I think that being out too often can be blahs too. So staying at home is a good way of controlling my spending and is also an opportunity for me to spend more time with my family.
Saturday, April 10, 2004
Slacking Day (Extended)
Time: 1.55am
Mood: Extremely bored
*Sigh* I think I can just simply cut and paste what I've wrote in yesterday's blog. Life has been so dull for me nowadays. I have been facing the com since I woke up at 6pm today. Other than being online the whole day, I think the television is my only entertainment at home. Haven't been in a good mood today. Feeling real down when I hear all my girl friends are either accompanying their bf or not free when I wanted to ask them out.
Hmm.. Pam gave me a ring at my hp at around 7 plus to ask me out. I would be glad to accompany her out for a cup of drink or something, but her boyfriend will be with her. I don't like the feeling of going out with a couple now. Although I didn't mind it in the past, it's totally a different feeling now for me. Therefore, I rejected her even though she kept calling.
He's sms-ing me again at the moment and we quarrelled again. I hate this feeling to the core. I think that I've had enough of all these nonsense.. He keeps on pinpointing at me and always finding faults to quarrel about. Haiz.. Why torture me like that? What the heck.. I don't wish to bother anymore and I hope I could.
I guess I'll be continuing this boring sequence of rotting at home during this holidays. I can't get any job and my pocket is burnt after spending almost 1K for the past month. It's my habit of spending money like drinking water whenever I'm nostalgic or feeling down. Please don't imitate. It's an awful and unhealthy habit of mine. I can't help it either, as I'm always unaware of it. That's all folks! I'll just join my bro now to watch WWE. *WavEs*
Friday, April 09, 2004
Another Slacking Day
Time: 4.00am
Ok.. now what? another slacking day? Oh boy.. so what have I been doing the whole day? Well.. It goes like this.. I got up only in the afternoon (as usual) and had been online since then till now.. That's all.. What?? I spent a day just like this? Hmm.. Dad has been crazing over Jln Besar's curry rice recently. Therefore, I had the chance to taste it again today. Am munching some thai crackers now while blogging. Mmm.. Can't resist making my mouth do the chewing all day long. It's my eating season again, so it explains all. Dino has just went off to meet Mr Zhou Gong for some guitar sessions, so I'm left here to do some typing..
Thursday, April 08, 2004
Last Day Of Sem 2
Time: 3.40am
Was late for school today due to my laziness to get up on time when my cacophonic alarm rang.. Bumped into Chel at the school foyer on my way to class and she was definitely late too. Alright, last day of school for the semester is always a relaxing one. Chel and I paired up to work on the given task and went to Tiong Bahru Plaza right after completing it. We decided to buy a cake as there was remainder from the class fund and it was also to have a mini celebration for this special day too. We invited all our facilitators over and had a photo session together. TN 0307 Rocks! Will definitely miss ya..
Chel, Liang Xing, Dino, Kenny, Sombo, Wen Wei and I went out together for a movie at PS. We watched 'Taking Lives' and I thought that the show was not bad. It wasn't boring and was exciting too, as all of us did get a scare during a particular part of the movie. Hmm.. we went over to starbucks and had a little chit-chat session to end off the enjoyable day. Sombo was on cloud 9 today! Wen Wei and I helped him to approach a staff at the cafe whom he spotted the moment we stepped into there. She's called Sam in short, and is rather a adorable and petite girl. No wonder the tiko Sombo will get attracted by her..
It's the beginning of my holidays and I wonder how my time will be spent on.. Hmm.. that person-in-charge has yet to call me. I'm still waiting.. $$$ Wont let ya slip away! Anyway, what time is it? It's munching time!
Wednesday, April 07, 2004
Slacking Day
Time: 12.10am
Was lazing around at home, since I did not turn up for lesson today. Woke up in the afternoon started off my daily routine of checking my mails, and grades. Hmm.. Culture & Communication's UT 4 results is out and I've got a C. Although it's not really an acceptable grade, but I'm satisfied with it to give me a pass in this module. Connie gave me a B for week 15.. Haven't seen a B from her for ages.. Glad that it pays off after getting much involvement in the work done with my team.
Got to know from Chel that she've enquired about the job at an Acer roadshow in RP. Yeah, that's it, RP. It's such a coincidence that it'll be held during my school's matriculation days. Have to wait till tomorrow for a reply by the person-in-charge, as they have had more than enough interviewees for the job. Argh.. Just hope that the interviewees are either a bunch of nerds or are unqualified for it. Oh man.. how evil am I.. But that's what I'll be hoping, to get hold of the job. I don't wish to be a couch potato at home during the 1 month break. I don't have his company to keep me occupied, so I guess I need to get my butt out of the house and do some work.
Tomorrow's gonna be the last day of school for the semester.. Wow.. It sure is a blink of an eye to have completed the 1st year in RP. Great experience and fun times spent with my pals here. Looking forward to working with another new bunch of classmates once the new semester starts. As for now, I'll just let my hair down and have a relaxing time as it's the start of the holidays. Party time!
Tuesday, April 06, 2004
Time: 1.15am
Listening to: Mario Winans Feat P.Daddy - I Don't Wanna Know
It's been a real relaxed day at school today. It was Computing Math this time and lots of peeps in class were slacking just like what I did. I went for the specialization talk this afternoon and I think it did helped a little I guess. But still, my first choice in mind will still be Multimedia Computing. I think that that is where my interest lies and I wouldn't change my mind even though I know it's a competitive field out there. Creative ideas plays an important role so as to survive in this field, which means it's equals to the rice bowl. No ideas = Waiting to be sacked. I would definitely wanna study something that I'm interested in and to excel in that area, rather than learning something more useful in the future. I believe that I would not do well if I do not have interest in a particular subject. It's just like how I dislike programming and math, where my grades in both modules have never been better. Thus, I trust myself to go for something I like and might do well in. Is this considered an instinct? Bah~
Anyway, went out with my group of pals (Chel, Liang Xing, Dino, Sombo and Wen Wei) to Tiong Bahru Plaza for lunch.. It's been quite a while since we last went out during break time. Hmm.. after lunch Liang Xing suggested for a haircut at Kimage. Chel and I were "lured" by her to the salon too.. haha.. 3 of us went to cut our fringe.. But you can only see a big difference in Chel's hair, whereas Lx and I just trimmed our fringe. I felt so guilty that our team has not done any work to be presented to the fac. But I think that he was kind enough not to reprimand us for that. So nice~ It was an easy day for us in school, as it is the last week of the semester.
Hmm.. that shall be all for today.. I getting tired already.. I'm gonna comply my 12 hrs of sleep tonight as I am not going for lessons again tomorrow! Heheh.. credits to my classmates who will be doing so.. They tempted me to! Nono.. I'm actually a good girl u see.. Just can't resist temptation that's all.. and erm.. I'm a person that's very concerned about my heath.. and err.. yup! and so I will make sure I have sufficient rest to prepare me for.. erm.. the holidays ahead? haha.. Yeah.. I know I know.. *Brr*
Monday, April 05, 2004
Sunday, April 04 2004
Time: 11.45pm
Listening to: Baby - Ai Qing Bu Neng Zuo Bi Jiao
Sundays always a family day for me.. I enjoy slacking at home on this day with the television, computer and my beloved bed. It's no exception today ya.. Woke up pretty early today.. wierd.. Anyway nothing happening went on today.. Wake up.. eat.. slack.. later sleep.. it's a routine for me on a boring day.. Ohh yah.. not forgetting the quarrels again.. Chatting with the girls on msn now.. Talking about our choice of specialization for year 2. Hmm.. definitely have to be present in school for the briefing tomorrow.. But I guess I would probably slack with my classmates together.. HurHur.. I have no idea what to type now.. 'Cause today was simply a boring day.. C'mon~ I want some excitement! Oh man.. Going insane.. -___-" Pardon me..
How I wish I could have someone to share my happiness and woes together.. Where are you when I need you? Where are your promises and commitments you made? Your words are simply ironic and hurting.. Please put it to an end..
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This was the last pic we took together.. and I never expected it to be the last..
I'm still hoping for your return, so please don't disappoint me..
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sunday, April 04, 2004
Time: 6.00am
Listening to: Ah Sang - Shou Le Dian Shang
Came back from singing at Kbox around 2 hours ago.. Hmm.. was my 1st time to the branch at Suntec.. The place is quite small but the service was not bad afterall.. Steph came to look for us at around midnight.. She had just sent off her boyfriend for Brunei at the airport. Poor girl.. she must be sad that he'll be leaving her for 3 weeks. Hmm.. but I guess I'm more worst off than her.. Anyway, she came to join us so as to resolve her loneliness. Chatted with Chel and Dino for awhile just now before they headed to bed. Erm.. but separately! HurHur~ Dad went out not long ago to pray for my grandpa.. why do they have to do that so early in the morning? *wonders* Then here I am now, blogging and having my breakfast.. (Bq: I've changed strategy this time round.. I eat and blog at the same time!) *Munch²* Hmm.. nothing much happened today ba.. Gonna reach out for my comfy bed soon after I'm finished with my food. As usual, I wouldn't get up unless I've hugged my bed for at least 12 hours ya.. This is a way of enjoying life man.. *WoOo...*
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I miss my mum.. I wished I had done something back then to resolve the problem. Maybe things wouldn't turn out this way then.. This is a picture of her.. Ain't she pretty?
I Love You Mummy!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Saturday, April 03, 2004
Time: 5.15am
Listening to: Yong Bang - Ni Shi Wo Zhui Shen Ai De Ren
It's been another day lazing at home.. Chatting and dazing online.. It's been like that for 5 hours until Chel called to ask me go for a movie. I didn't want to coop myself at home on a friday. I wanna have fun too. Thus, I met up my classmates to watch The Passion Of The Christ. Before I went out, I was actually downloading this movie. Haha.. But it's merrier to have friends accompanying you watch ya? Hmm.. a horrible break-down in emotions happened when I got home. I received his sms again.. As usual, it started peacefully but ended like a war. If you were to realise why the song I'm listening to this time is in chinese.. Well.. It's the song that represents him.. I'm just getting emotional again.. Anyway, I'm more than happy to have Chel and Dino consoling me just now. Really glad to have found these 2 soul mates to listen to my woes.. Lucky me~ But please bear with me ya? Hmm.. actually I thought I have lots to say.. but my mind suddenly went blank.. *wonders* Anyway.. I have to make a decision! Yeah.. a difficult one.. To U-turn or to move on?
Gotta wrap up now.. 'Cause there's an "uncle" trying to hurry me so that he could view this.. Haha.. Here you go! Nothing much actually.. but hmm.. Most importantly.. Thanks Chel and Dino for being such a good friend to me. I love you too!
Stay Tuned! To Be Continued...
Thursday, April 01, 2004
Time: 8.00pm
Listening to: Tata Young - Sexy, Naughty, Bitchy
Feeling kinda bored right now.. Dad and bro's out and I'm left home alone. Anyway, I went to school today! haha.. No choice to do so, as I can't afford to miss anymore Programming lessons. I received a call at noon today when I was in class facing the monitor. I got a shock by what I've seen appearing on my hp.. It was him! omg~ He called to make sure I was in school. It was because he knows I have been skipping 3 days of lessons in a week. If anyone were to notice me when I was on the line, he/she would have seen the smile hanging on my face. Guess what? I've decided to skip tomorrow's lesson too! It's a continual lesson from last week's work and since I wasn't present then, I might as well spend the time rolling on my bed right?
Hmm.. there was a roadshow happening around in school this afternoon. The students prepared it to promote for this year's Dinner & Dance, which will be held on 22nd May at Hotel Inter-Continental. Actually, I think that this event is totally crap! Why organise this event when we are only completing our Year 1? And it's on 22nd May, which will be just 3 weeks after we start on Year 2! So is this the best they have planned for us? Making us go for a celebration for completing Year 1 and what's on after that? A school day on the following monday? C'mon.. it has no meaning for this whole thingy then. People go for D&D to celebrate their graduation from school with a happy and relaxed mood, but not one that requires them to go back studying right after that. If that is so, what is the point of celebrating? Okok.. I think this is enough already.. Nagging ain't good for health..
Finally, both chaps are home now.. and I shall stop here then. Stomach's calling and it's time for some nourishment now.
Wednesday, March 31, 2004
Time: 6.30pm
Listening to: Hilary Duff - Come Clean, Marilyn Manson - Sweet Dreams
Woke up at 4pm this afternoon.. Finally had the chance to have a long rest after so long. Shiok ah! haha.. Dad bought Jln Besar's curry rice for me, which reminded me of him again. He used to bring me there to eat whenever he had time. I like Belastier's Bak kut teh too.. *drooLz* Just checked my grade for Web Multimedia's test 4 which I took yesterday. The grade is out so soon! NCT can be so efficient huh? heheh.. Anyway I scored an A this time, which simply brightened up my day instantly. I was so happy, I couldn't resist letting him be the 1st to know about it, which I used to do last time. Hmm.. came across this interesting website called Liquid Generation. They have lots of hilarious flash and quizzes, which I can spend on doing when I'm simply rotting at home. The sky is getting dark now and I'm starting to get sleepy again. Oh my~ I have been such a bummer recently.. By the way, it's Database test tomorrow. Argh.. what a boring module.. Just get over and done with it and don't let me see it in Year 2! *Prays* Got to know from my friend that the mtv I've done was featured in SIT's Mtv Awards today. Ahhhh~! I forgot that it was held today.. If not I would have went to school. Was hoping to get to see the others' Mtv. wasted man.. Anyway.. I'll get on with my Liquid Generation and probably do some revision later. (Hope so!)
~ If you love him, let him go. If he returns to you, it was meant to be. If he doesn't, his love was never yours to begin with..~
Time: 3.30am
Listening to: Stacie Orrico - I Promise
Hi peeps! Hmm.. alright.. this is my 1st blog i've ever done.. Was actually influenced by my classmate, Chel, who introduced me into this trend. Anyway, i spent quite awhile trying to figure out how to customize this page.. It was not easy for me though.. I just suddenly have the urge to scratch down my thoughts in words, as I have been feeling real down for the past month. I have never ever felt this way towards a guy before. It is simply hurting to know that the guy I loved most, is trying to torture me by not giving me a reply to the question I am waiting for. I have been living in agony for the past month.. I have to live my way of life now, alone and unwillingly, on the other hand putting up a strong front before my friends. *Sigh* I wished he understood how much I wanted him back into my life. He have been spiting me with his sms almost everyday. I hate him for this, but I still love him. Simply contradicting.. *Argh* Alright.. I guess you must have heard enough of this love story. I know I know.. I'll stop it. Hmm.. I'll be skipping school tomorrow as I can predict lots of my classmates won't be around. On the other hand, I did not have the mood to attend class too. (Thanks to "him" and erm.. sorry chel..) Jon tempted me to accompany him to ChinaBlack tomorrow night, but i guess I don't have the urge to go there. The drinks there sux! I seemed to be having a cup of ice water? Yucks! Anyway I have to attend Thursday's class and holidays is just around the corner! So I guess I shall be good this week and just attend the last week's lessons. Determination! Ohh yah! It's Kenny's birthday right now. Our semester 1 classmates had a little birthday celebration for him. Sharon bought a chocolate cake with blueberry fillings! Omg! It's my favourite flavour and blueberry! Oh no~ I'm going crazy over this. Kays.. Think I shall pen off here.. *Stomach growling* Heheh.. I'm gonna carry out ransacking of my kitchen now.. *PooF*
far-terd at 7:01 AM