vanakam ^^

Sunday, February 12, 2006 jaded

my heart just sank when i saw her mention about him in her blog again. made me think of the past.

i wish i can lose my memory, or maybe get a brainwash. it's not that im not forgiving, but the thought of it makes me really sad..

i used to think that there's a future ahead of us.
but the feeling now is so different..
i dont know how to remove the barrier.

i think i know too little about his life.

we used to be so loving in the past.. but now it seems that we are just a couple by name.. being together just for the sake of it. or maybe it is true that the honeymoon period is over. couples tend to be less loving if they are together for a long time?

i donno la. im so troubled now.
depression has been following me for the past months.. can cry out of a sudden..
feeling kinda xin ku.

i wanna work towards what i want now. earn money, get myself a bike and perhaps continue studying till i die. i dont wanna depend on guys. coz i detest guys fetching their so called "cais". i dont care whether riding is dangerous or not. i just wanna do what i like. die early or not i dont care much. but i must die happily.

im tired.

far-terd at 7:25 AM

profile

vanwie
twenty-two
undergrad/cabin crew

aims for

happiness
~~bike~~
2a licence
~~car licence~~
~~new job~~
diamond ring
complete degree
~~ralph lauren romance~~
~~bike servicing~~
~~new rims & tyres~~
~~mhr of505 helmet~~
new helmet
~~hp c5180~~
~~new watches~~
~~new wallet~~
new bags
more levis skinny
~~n95~~
~~sony psp~~
ds lite
pretty clothes
another overseas trip

maomao's list
~~grooming session~~
bigger house
~~new bowl~~